Saturday 11 January 2014

EC a "HOW TO" post



EC a “HOW TO” post.

So you’ve decided to EC your baby. Well done coming to this decision. NOW how to do it so that you are:
  • ·         In tune with your child
  • ·         Have more “catches” than “misses”
  • ·         Know when to offer the potty
  • ·         How to recognize a “cue”
  • ·         How to have success even if your baby NEVER cues (some don’t ever cue clearly)
  • ·         How to classily deal with a miss in public
  • ·         What “gear” you need.
OK so first things first getting started.. Everyone has to start at the same place no matter what age they start EC. That place is observing baby and “casual” catches. By Casual I mean offering the baby somewhere to “go” outside of their nappy. Here’s how to do that:



NEWBORN-5 months:
OBSERVATION about 30 mins per day for 2 weeks. Lay baby naked bottomed on a waterproof mat and let them pee and poop. Literally. Watch and write down exactly what happens right before they go. Do they go from lots of movement to stillness? Do they make a face? Do they verbalize their elimination with squeaks, grunts, cries or even laughter? Each time they eliminate make your cue sound. Every. Single. Time. If they don’t cue don’t worry I’ll get to that in a bit. You should be offering your baby regular potty opportunities even during your 2 weeks of observation.
After your daily observation time you can put your baby back in a  nappy or tiny undies and carry them as much as possible. When you notice your baby’s usual movements sounds or expression right before elimination quickly undress them and place over a sink, toilet or potty and make your cue sound. Most often you will find a newborn to pee every time a opportunity is offered. Older babies will be a bit hit and miss.


6 months-11 months:
The mobile older infant is “harder” to start simply because they’re more inquisitive and are often on the move. You still have to observe them.
Pick a waterproof surface where clean up is easy and watch them, making your cue sound if they go and also move them as soon as they start to eliminate to a potty, saying poop/pee goes in the potty. Do NOT draw attention to misses other than to say “oh, you’re doing/have done a pee/poo, if you let me know next time I can help you put it in the potty”- very low key. Your naked observation time will be for 2 hours each day for a week. ALWAYS move baby immediately to an appropriate place to eliminate if they start to go. Offer regular opportunities to go outside of their nappy.
Be matter of fact about misses and catches alike- this is a bodily function and should be expected not congratulated, just like you do not give your child an M&M for every step they take so that they learn to walk. (most people that is.. I’m sure some people out there do)
Once your week of naked observation time is over offer your baby regular potty times and other than these regular generic potty times ONLY offer if they ask for it by cueing or if you suddenly get the “feeling” they need to go- intuition IS a cue!. Older babies need more control over this than a tiny baby so this is especially true of the almost one year old. Ideal times for regular potty opportunities are:

·         Before sleeping and upon waking
·         After a drink (breast/bottle)
·         Before any and all car rides and approximately every half hour of every trip
·         When it has “been a while”
·         Your baby’s natural timing (always poops at 2PM or pees every 45 minutes  for example)


When you’re not observing your baby your baby should NOT be naked. This teaches them to Pee and Poop on the floor. What you want to teach them is this mindset: I have something on my bottom that I need help to keep dry. If i pee or poop anywhere other than the potty or toilet it doesn’t feel good. It DOES mean a bit of extra washing but honestly it’s worth it in the end. Babies are very smart and they do catch on if you’re consistent.


12 months-17 months
This is the HARDEST age to begin EC but not impossible, By this stage you and baby are completely dependent on nappies. There’s only one thing to do- DITCH THE NAPPIES!! At least during the day when at home and progress from there.

Your OBSERVATION TIME: child naked bottomed outside or on waterproof flooring ALL DAY with you WATCHING LIKE A HAWK, for 2 days ONLY. Baby is too old for a cue noise, instead say something like “potty” and pick them up and place them gently on the potty to catch the last of the pee or poo they were doing. Also still note what they do right before and ask them if they need to go- they DO understand to some extent. After your naked observation time is over always leave baby in UNDERWEAR, they need to know what it is to feel WET and MESSY. Because this is what going to the potty will help them to avoid. And they will have a much better chance at learning to potty by doing this in undies. 

NAPPIES are NOT developmentally appropriate past 12 months if you’re doing EC. It is fine to use nappies when out or at night.. but that’s it. Putting them in nappies more than this won’t hurt your ECing (unless you ignore the child while they’re wearing a nappy) but it will drag it out as long as you use them. Again babies are smart. They know what a nappy is and if you put a nappy on your older baby- they will fill it.

Good regular times to offer potty opportunities are as above but also should include BEFORE you let them go and play. Playing toddlers do not appreciate stopping to potty.


18 month+
I’m very sorry. This isn’t what you’re going to want to hear but you might as well skip the EC and get Jamie Glowackis book “Oh Crap, Potty Training” because while beginning EC does extend to about 20 months and can be followed exactly the same as the 12-17 month range- Jamie is THAT good, that her potty training program overlaps this 18-20 months range and is more developmentally appropriate. SO buy her book, it’s $15 and the book is a digital download so you will get it straight away. Read the whole thing and then schedule your potty training.



GEAR:
Really your baby only needs you but some gear and easy access clothing as well as CLOTH nappies go a LONG way to helping with EC success.
Potties and seat reducers: as a little baby (before solids start) your baby can go pretty much anywhere from a sink or bathtub to the toilet or on a potty. But most people will want a potty here’s why- potties have MORE success because they’re not intimidating like a big toilet. To add to this- potties can wear cute and fuzzy potty cozys that keep baby from yelping and trying to get off because the seat is cold. You can buy a potty cozy or make your own and they greatly improve willingness on the babys part.
Seat reducers can be used for over ones but before this it’s really scary and cold for your baby to have their feet dangling over the edge. Even a lot of 12 month olds do NOT like the reducer but some also get on fine, it’s up to you.

Home made baby legwarmers from girls knee high socks
sweat pants make a cheap and easy on/ easy off solution


Clothes: AVOID body suits, (onesies) and clothing that are slow to remove. Long T-shirts, dresses, trousers with stretchy elastic or split crotch pants/baby chaps and gowns are a better option. A good site to buy specially made clothes is simply called EC WEAR and if you google those words the shop will come up. Or you can do like me and just adjust the clothes you where given as gifts to suit your needs.

Nappies: You do not want to leave your baby in a wet nappy for too long so the china cheapies or Terry flats/prefolds are perfect. Have a few “really good” highly absorbent and bullet proof nappies for night time and outings and rely more on the flats or pre-folds or fitted nappies at home when you can change baby as soon as they are wet or dirty.

Disposable nappies are DETRIMENTAL to EC because the baby is “too dry” and has no way of connecting the dots concerning pees. This can be helped by putting a flannel in the nappy to keep baby aware but really.. if you’re doing that then the flannel is still getting washed and you might as well just use cloth. I HAVE used disposables but there are only a few reasons to do this and it has NOTHING to do with “convenience”. The first reason is night time and requiring more absorbency because I’m exhausted and don’t want to have to change them over night, The other reason is travelling and space, disposables are nice and thin and take up a fraction of the space and I can buy them when I get to my destination. The flannel inserts are a single layer of cloth and don’t take up much space. 

OR in times of illness where the baby has the poops. 

 (PLEASE STILL SPRAY THE DISPOSABLES OFF IT IS THESE UNSPRAYED SOILED NAPPIES THAT TRANSMIT POLIO AND OTHER DISEASES PLEASE THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE) 


Puddle pads: you can buy seat protectors or puddle pads for prams and car seats however a terry flat or pre-fold nappy or even a towel with a plastic bag under it will do exactly the same thing.

Books and forums:
There are many books out there on EC and forums. Don’t get caught up in the “culture” use the forums as a helpline but don’t “try everything at once” this rarely works. Experiment with one suggestion at a time. And your questions are better directed at your EC mentor- the person who introduced you to EC. Ask them questions about other peoples suggestions.
Books wise.. the most comprehensive book available is Andrea Olsen’s book EC Simplified. Buy it online and read it in full. The digital book also comes complete with her personal support forum and her one on one time with you. Best $27 you’ll ever spend and if you get her deluxe version for an extra few bucks she throws in some extras.(you're welcome for the free advertising Andrea and Jamie)



What to do on an “off” day
Firstly EVERYONE has off days where they’re unable to tune into their baby and they can’t seem to catch anything at all.
DO NOT get angry. Take a deep breath, put a nappy on and do not think about EC. Enjoy your baby, sleep with them when they sleep, play, feed and go for a walk or have a play date. Only offer the potty at your regular times or if they signal VERY clearly that they want to go. Take an hour- or a day (just the one mind you, you’re not giving up you’re having a breather)
When you’re feeling better, take the nappy off and resume EC. Don’t be surprised if you have a couple of misses right away, it is only through misses that you will regain a feel for the baby s natural rhythm.


What to do if you have a VERY public Miss 



 Baby just peed in the supermarket trolley (or some other equally horrifying situation) here we go:

To start with it's best to keep some kind of puddle pad under your child in trollies and restaurant high chairs etc. But if you didn't and it's completely backfired there's a few actions you can take;

If possible immediately wipe up the pee. Even if you use your baby's blanket- it will wash. Chances are no one even notices but if they do just keep it simple and bright "oops, clean up on isle 3! guess someone needs a change!" and leave it at that. They will likely assume an over full nappy or a penis pointing the wrong way is to blame. Only go into EC if they ask "why don't you have a nappy on your baby?" which unless your baby is in undies only they have absolutely no way of knowing. They just know there's a leakage issue.

If you don't have anything to wipe up with quickly find help from someone who works at the establishment you're visiting and explain you had a "leaking problem" apologize and ask for a mop. They are usually very good about it. If they're not don't go back.. or at least don't go back without a nappy back up.

If you were visiting a friend or relative it's best to ask if they mind first. if they do just put a nappy on and offer potty opportunities at regular intervals. Changing wet or dirty nappies immediately as they happen. If they said they didn't mind and your baby peed.. try not to worry. If they gave you permission they did so knowing it could happen.


                                


Good places to go when first trying outings "without a net"
these are just a few suggestions but really you can go anywhere and do anything if feeling brave.

  • the beach- no one cares about a bare bum or just undies
  • Quieter parks and play grounds- again self explanatory plenty of toilet trainees will be there yours is just a bit younger.
  • walking trails with baby in sling- most won't go in their carriers
  • picnics and barbeques
  • supportive friends/relatives houses
  • EC group meetings 
Elimination Communication is a fair bit or work at the beginning but once you understand the basics and have a good rhythm going it becomes easier than changing nappies because:
  • you never have to find a clean change table
  • no scraping poo out of skin folds
  • no giant poosplosions resulting in full outfit changes
  • your baby stays clean
  • it honors your childs communication and abilities right where they're at
  • far less chance of rashes
  • babies that don't wear nappies have no bulk or tummy pressure
  • baby is "done" well before "conventional" toilet training age is even reached and you're not trying to convince a toddler to change a 2.5-4 year long habit.so there you have it.. a starting point for EC.

 

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