Sometimes I am in a big rush. My day is very full and I feel the need to just "get it done" and "quickly now" But some things have come up recently that have highlighted the need for me to slow down- for the sake of real progress and development.
Sometimes when we are raising a family we forget to let children participate fully. We let them "have a go" but are so wrapped up in the schedule that we end up "doing it for them" For me this has meant a lack has developed in a single area of Edisons learning. A very simple lack. Communication.
What in the world has happened to me that I haven't had time for his words. He is very intelligent and catches onto ideas and practices very quickly. But because I have been too busy to talk about it much, I have made it hard for him.
When he was a baby we were constantly communicating because I practiced EC and was always on the look out for his communications. But I wasn't trying to juggle as many things and I was able to keep my eyes on the prize- his ultimate well being and as a result we had a very successful EC relationship. But something happened along the way.
I won't be going into too much detail about all that I've discussed with those close to me. But my Focus lecturer had the most basic and beautiful advice I have ever heard.
What I really needed to hear right at the moment her email arrived
"Be pleased with the progress. Stories, language games, talking, useful conversations he needs to have the opportunity to hear and participate in ongoing communication. Use his imagination, when outside, ask him what next, tell me what you think will happen etc. Give him time to respond. I know I have been at fault in the past in answering students/children's questions. Ask, wait then give them another 7 seconds. Also ask him to tell you about his drawings etc.
Wait another 7 seconds. Surely we all have another 7 seconds to spare. This simple advice affected me most profoundly. I will be forever grateful for it. Edison doesn't have time for me not to wait and engage him.
And I am so proud of him and his efforts. I love to show off his work and the fact that he is so naturally able to self teach. It's up to me to help by communicating more about it. To slow down, take a breath and listen and wait and ask the questions that will lead to the most discussion. Because it is these conversations that will lead to the grasping of new concepts, ideas and solutions.
I could ramble on forever about my own real and perceived inadequacies but that wouldn't help the situation. So this is me. Making the conscious decision to ensure I connect with and wait for BOTH of my children to hear and participate in meaningful dialogue with positive outcomes. Conversations where they don't feel like their mother is a pressure cooker just wanting to keep on working and have respectful and reciprocal relationships where they feel truly listened to.
I hope I am up for the challenge. There is no room for failure here. I owe my children that.
