A progress report.

Since really beginning my journey into gentle parenting there have been struggles, triumphs, good days, bad days and just.. in-between days..

Today (and the previous three days) has been a really good example for watching how gentle parenting works. OH MY! where to start.. the beginning I guess..


It was early Wednesday morning and by early I mean 2AM. Edison came to our room and said he had a bad dream and there were monsters going to get mummy. We let him in and gave him lots of reassurance and I tried to go back to sleep. But now Edisons movements had disturbed Kicky; which was bad because he decided he was UP! and no amount of nursing and cuddling convinced him it was still dark and time for sleep. So at about 3:30AM after failing repeatedly and disturbing everyone in the process I got up with Kick. He was very actively playing and eating until about 5:45AM when he nursed to sleep.

I tried to go back to bed but MC had to go to work so instead the added movement and noise provoked Edison and then HE was up and wanted breakfast and attention and to play with mama.

I felt grumpy, tired and pretty desperate to go back to bed but he wouldn't have any of it. So I had to look beyond myself. And I extended myself lovingly and we watered our garden, made the mid morning snack ready for later so we would just have to pull it out of the fridge and we played with Edison's toys. And I found myself really just enjoying being with him. It didn't matter anymore that I had been up far too early already.

Kicky woke around 7:45 and was pretty fragile at first and needed me to hold and reassure him for the better part of an hour. So abandoning the house work we cuddled together on the sofa and read books. Edison is getting really good now at recognizing words, despite never being drilled over his letters or reading. We read until it was time to go for our walk and then I put on our baby carrier and we made our way out the door. As we had already made a mid morning snack we didn't need any fruit that day so instead we pretended to be trains on a small segment of old train tracks that haven't been used in decades.

That first day of extension continued much in that fashion, the boys needed something and I met that need. They both slept during the day at some point but not together so I was disappointed that I couldn't nap too but instead of growling about it I focused on enjoying the time as one on one with the awake child..

And when they finally went down and I could sleep I went to bed straight away too- Only to be woken at around 3:30 and start my day like the first again. The day played out much like the previous except I also did all the catch up house work and we walked to the supermarket. and the next day was the same.

But I noticed something different each time this happened and I resisted getting angry about it- I found myself extending without thinking about it, like this was a muscle I was just learning to use. I was more sleep deprived and tired than the time before each time they did this but it was easier for me to not be upset about it. And I enjoyed my early morning with the awake baby and then put him back to bed only to be joined by my 3 and a half year old and it was easy to be with him.

Then Today happened, same as the other days I was up well before the sun and then baby went back to bed. I watched the sun rise with Edison, the golden range light shining on his reddish hair and we fed all our pets. I played make believe and he told me stories and we cooked everyone breakfast as they joined us and something had changed again- I was happy to be up I couldn't have imagined still being asleep and missing out on this time of the day.

We (MC. the boys and myself) went on an hour long drive to Port Adelaide to enjoy a Dolphin tour. Kicky was easy going and happy to look around but Edison was so excited that he imploded and wanted nothing more than to climb all over the outside of the boat or to jump overboard and go swimming! MC had him at that point and was feeling quite overwhelmed because Edison decided to start screaming randomly and trying to get away. Which was against the rules- all children had to be right next to an adult at all times. 15 minutes in and we swapped kids.

I then spent the cruise down the harbor alternating between distracting Edison or reassuring him as he screamed in my arms because he wanted to do something dangerous. At the furthest point down the river, right before the boat turned around I was at the front lowest deck with lots of people watching me. It didn't matter, I wasn't flustered or angry. I had never felt so calm in a situation like this before, I felt no pressure to "shut him up" or to "smack him one" though a couple people gave me glances that very much mirrored this and they watched to see what I would do. One grandmother had said "I don't judge people who smack their kids or who don't like maybe I needed permission to do it and so I told her simply there was no need and that spanking didn't work for my child. And she said "it's all well and good to say smacking is wrong but what the heck do we do if we can't smack to get the behavior to stop!? I looked into her face as kindly as I could and said "bring them closer than close, we reconnect, then we communicate what the problem is, cooperate if possible to resolve the problem or I hold them and reassure them until they let out all their frustration that sometimes we just can't have what we want. By now I had more than a dozen eyes on me, overhearing it seemed despite the loud noise making three year old. The expression was "yeah right" the next bit happened quickly and lasted about 4 minutes in total:

Knowing they were watching didn't phase me. I just kept affirming Edison. He screamed: "I'm here" I responded, he growled and tried to get away "It's okay you can be angry about this, later I will let you climb something that is safe" he screamed again I responded "I love you, even when you're unlovable" he turned in and cried for a few minutes. I held him, was present and reassuring that I would always choose him, no matter what he was doing. His tears eventually stopped. And we saw some dolphins lazily swimming slowly in the water and went back to where MC was struggling to keep kicky entertained. We sat together and enjoyed the last of the tour, I got an ice block for both children and didn't worry about the previous behavior. It was over. The past. I wasn't going to keep a record of wrongs and say "this is because you asked so nicely" or something similar, I've never been one to use food for reward or punishment. I just got it because he asked and I could afford one.

The tour ended. We had a good time. And we had also shown other people it was possible to get desired behavior without bribing and without punishing. By the time we left the eyes that had watched me on the lower deck were on our family again as we stepped ashore, they weren't judging eyes. They were inspired. And I was quiet inside, no storm brewing, just contemplative. We went to visit MC's mother and brothers stayed a while and went home. And not once did I feel angry with my children. I felt free.

A review of my Modern Cloth Nappy experience

Now that I am (at least for now) done with nappies with the exception of night-time I think it's time I gave my honest opinion about my (ridiculously large) cloth stash. My stash consisted of:

24 Cushie Tushies + 4 night boosters
8 Medium Pea Pods -with night boosters
8 Small Pea Pods - with night boosters
12 Terry Flats + 3 K-mart covers in each size from 000-1
6 Bambino Mio Prefolds + 1 large (9kg+) Mio Soft cover
8 "knock off" nappies from E bay that are like Bum Genius with microfiber inserts
4 "knock off" nappies from E bay that are like Cushie Tushies
7 Home sewn Pocket nappies+ micro fiber towel inserts from cheap as chips
1 home sewn "Flip cover"
10 Fluffies fitted cotton nappies (3-11kg)
4 Fluffies fitted terry cotton nappies (3-11kg)
2 Fluffies fitted terry cotton nappies (12-17kg)
1 wool cover


See what I mean by "ridiculous?" there was no way I was ever going to run out.

Okay so now what did I think of what??




CUSHIE TUSHIES:
these were the 3rd brand I bought, When Edison was about 3 weeks old. Couture were $35 a piece and came with a large snap in booster and a mini booster, Basix $27 a piece and just came with the single large snap in booster. Night boosters are sold separately.

THE PRO'S- beautiful prints, these were by far our prettiest nappies. They also are a truely one size nappy because the front folds down and the wings feature cross over snaps that make even teeny tiny newborns can wear them (though they are bulky the bulk is on top rather than between the legs so it isn't bad for their hips) and they won't leak out the legs. They are also customizable by adding or subtracting boosters and can usually last well overnight.

THE CONS- being an AIO design the shell had absorbency sewn into it. This made the Cushie Tushies take DAYS to dry in the winter unless they were put in the dryer it was nigh impossible to get them dry.  Other than that the performance was great except for this last bit:

I have to say for performance its a C grade and here's why- My stash is all relatively the same age and at 3.5 years old and in rotation within such a large stash.. The PUL in the Cushie Tushies has cracked on 17 out of 24. that means only 7 of them aren't leaking.

They are the ONLY nappies in my stash that have delaminated and started to leak when Kicky was around 15 months old- and they're also the most expensive and were cared for the most carefully.

To be fair Cushie Tushies no longer sell these AIO nappies they have replaced the Couture and Basix range with a hybrid AI2 range of Chameleons, Tadpoles and Minis. I have no experience with these though I certainly hope they are more durable than the ones I had.




 PEA PODS:
These nappies were $17 a piece pocket nappies with bamboo inserts that folded up and a small wet bag to hold the nappy once soiled. Night boosters were sold separately at $5 a piece.

THE PRO'S: As sized nappies these really did have a great non-bulky fit, they came in either neutral pastel colours or LOUD happy colours. But no prints at the time just solid colours. They never, ever leaked and were super thirsty with a stay dry feel. I preferred these for my boys as newborns. And also as they got bigger, these nappies just wouldn't say die and still look new.

THE CONS: being bamboo they still took a long time to dry in winter but it WAS possible to line dry them in around 12 hours. In summer they dried in about 1 hour and the rest of the year about 4-6 hours depending on temp and wind. Not as pretty as prints. Still relatively expensive as sizes had to be bought as baby grows.

Pea pods now do a one-size design- with prints! that are able to be pocket or AI2 for $20 a piece. I give these nappies an A- just because they are still expensive and there are cheaper ones that are just as good.




KNOCK OFF CUSHIE TUSHIES: $19 once all pieces purchased
these nappies came with fun prints- different from cushie tushies but still very gorgeous, were one size just like cushie tushies and performed just like cushie tushies.. They only differences? the price and the fact that none of them leak after 3.5 years of use. The manufacturer was Snappy Bums and have since ceased making them which is a pity. They were $10 a shell and $9 for the snap in booster. $19 vs $35.. it's the obvious winner. The pro's and cons are identical. Grade A- nappy as they are very well priced but still take forever to dry.




KNOCK OFF BUM GENIUS: $3.12 a piece
 These nappies I bought off E bay 8 for $25 with 10 inserts + postage. THAT makes them by far the most economical of all of the nappies I own at just $3:12 not including the 10 inserts I wish I had found these sooner.
The microfiber dries the very quickest of all my inserts, didn't get any leaks, the inner was stay dry suede, they were one size with a front snap down rise and snap closures, came in bold colours and were easy to stuff, put on and they were also the least bulky. Seriously there were no cons that I could come up with for these nappies.

I gave these an Grade A+




TERRY SQUARES: $20-$30 for a dozen price range

THE PRO'S:once you get good at maybe 3 different folds (there are many more than 3 too)- flat nappies like terry cotton squares wash the cleanest, dry the fastest and are very versatile. because you fold them to fit you always have the perfect size and you can totally used them day or night if you double up the wet zone..

THE CONS: it all gets wet so you HAVE to touch the yucky bit also if you have a wriggly baby it can be difficult to get on without them knocking the folded nappy and it unfolds then and you have to re-do it, requires a pin or snappi to fasten and also a cover. which means more to remember to pack in your nappy bag.

GRADE C+ as they could be more user friendly.




PREFOLDS: $25 for 6 at target

THE PRO'S: Like Flats, prefolds must be folded and can come undone as your trying to put nappy on baby, though slightly less likely as the folds are simpler, but prefolds come sized and having a thicker middle strip don't wash quite as easily nor dry as quickly but are still a relatively cheap and effective option.

The prefolds I bought came with a bambino Mio Soft cover and just folded into thirds and lay in the cover OR they could be folded other ways such as bikini twist, angel fold or jelly roll and fastened onto baby with a snappi.

THE CONS: Pretty much identical to flat fold nappies. GRADE C+




FITTED NAPPIES: $5 a piece.

THE PRO'S:
these were good as newborn nappies. And with older babies as night time nappies. But were over kill as I usually just used my knock off bum genius nappies. I bought these on sale while pregnant with Edison.If your looking for user friendly with natural fibers these are your guys. And the fitteds I made "pocket style" were even better because it eliminated a long drying time (12 hours in winter)

THE CON'S: long drying unless they're pockets, requires a cover and as it's all absorbent it all gets wet- you have to touch the yucky bits. Also the Aplix (Velcro) wears out rather quickly
 GRADE B+ these nappies definitely have their place and are an affordable user friendly option.



THE CONCLUSION:

DON'T buy nappies based on "pretties" or think that they will be any lesser if they are cheaper. Look on E bay and other such sites. Or alternatively support a WAHM by buying her nappies (I sewed my own and have now sewn for others)

CONSIDER the climate also- if its over cast most days AIO will be worse than useless but an awesome time/space saver if your climate is sunny.

BUY or TRIAL nappies to see if they fit your baby well.

and lastly don't be afraid of folding and covers if that's all you can afford- it's easy once you've learned a few folds to have nappies sitting in the covers folded and ready to go.

When children act out.

Edison has been toileting himself since he was about 17 months old. But after a morning of tense conversation with MC for which Edison wasn't present, my day went from bad to worse as he promptly went and peed in our bedroom on the floor.

I immediately knew he was acting out something, but it didn't stop me from feeling incredibly angry. I wanted to scream at him. I did get a bit loud but not t the point where I would call it yelling. Rather an agonized pain kind of groan as I fought back the urge to pick him up and put him over my knee.

I told him "I am very very angry with you right now, we don't pee on floors- we use the toilet." Then I gave him a flat fold nappy from my old stash and made him clean up the pee. He spent quite a while cleaning it up.

When he was done he came to me and said "Mum, I got all the wee out." and all I could do was squeak "good, put the nappy in the laundry" feeling completely like I would spontaneously combust as I spoke.

No sooner did Edison put the nappy in the laundry and came out than he started a fight with Kicky who had gone to see what he was doing and when I more calmly than I felt reminded him to use his gentle hands with his brother he lay down and started to cry, I tried to ask him what was wrong- why was he doing this? then he got up and walked off.

No sooner had he disappeared from my sight I heard a shaking sound. He had taken the salt shaker and was shaking salt all over the lounge room! (this was not an ordinary table shaker, it was a 1kg cooking salt shaker it takes a whole 1kilo bag of salt and it was full!) I was no longer angry, I was baffled. The more I powered up on him the more he was acting out.

Kicky came to me for a time-in and brought a calm down toy with him. I knew Edison had done something to him in there because he was an angry little toddler and he needed a moment to calm down! He held the cement truck tightly and stared at it for a long moment before snuggling in and having a few tears. Then he seemed to feel better and got down and went to play again.

I went to check on how Edison's salt sweep up was progressing. He'd mostly done a pretty good job and had only missed one little spot. I brought him onto my lap for a time in. "why did you do those things Eddie?" I asked not expecting to get a real answer. He told me "Edison is being bad" I was surprised but pleased that he'd told me this so I continued our time-in by asking "why is Ed being bad? do you feel angry?" he looked thoughtful for a moment and said "no, not angry. just bad."

It had dawned on me probably from the floor peeing on that maybe he had heard the conversation from his room but not fully understood it nor come out during the conversation for fear of what he might see or hear.

I took him to our bed and lay down with him for a few minutes, I scratched his back. cuddled him tight and told him "Mummy and Daddy love each other very much, and we love you. There's nothing for you to worry about."

With that said we headed back out to our living areas and joined Kicky who had now found the salt himself. And was licking the top of the shaker. I let it slide and just asked for him to pass it to me which he did and I gave it a clean with a damp cloth then put the shaker away.

Our day has barely begun, I don't know how this day is going to end. Only that it will and that after this morning really.. the only way is up. And yes- "I've got this covered"

How to make a AI2 Cloth Nappy in an Emergency.

How to make a AI2 Cloth Nappy in an Emergency.

For those who use cloth instead of disposable nappies there is always a small risk of running out of nappies if we become behind in the laundry. This never actually happened to me because I did EC and also had a ridiculously large cloth stash. BUT it did and does happen to a few of my friends with smaller stashes. For example if you’re a non-EC full time cloth user and you only have 12 nappies.. your gonna have to do laundry everyday or risk running out and breaking open the disposables.. BUT there is another solution to your conundrum if only using cloth is important to you!

YOU WILL NEED:

·        Tape- cello tape or Masking or even duct tape whatever you’ve got is great.

·        A plastic shopping bag from Coles or Woolworths. The ones they give you that are thick plastic.

·        A tea towel, hand towel or old T-shirt.

Let’s make a nappy and cover!

1.      Pull/cut off the handles of the bag so you don’t have to worry about them flapping about. With the bag writing the right way up fold the bag into thirds. It should resemble a tri-fold/pre-fold. Then just like with a pre-fold fan the back out to make the “angel fold” and your “cover” is done. If you want a little more strength/security you can tape the inside down as well to prevent it unfolding again but the one I made just stayed the way I folded it.

2.      Next take your tea towel or whatever you’ve chosen and fold it into a soaker pad. I used a standard tea towel and folded it width ways in half, then into thirds. “soaker” is complete.

3.      Lay the soaker inside your cover and place baby on top. Then pull the front up between baby’s legs and tape closed. Tuck in any daggy bits and you’re done! A nappy for emergencies.

Please note this is not exactly a breathable option so get the laundry done ASAP and a proper cover over that baby’s bum. In winter breath ability isn’t much of an issue but in summer it could cause a nasty heat rash. The good news is nappies dry fast in summer and baby will be okay for a few hours in the DIY emergency nappy. Make sure you change it pretty regularly too.

Torturing my children- with healthy food.

I'm sure most everyone who has children has felt at some point like they were torturing the children with healthy food I know I am right now. Especially when they refuse to eat what is offered and then not ten minutes after you've cleared the untouched plates from the table they blurt out "I'm hungry" what they're really saying is "I want one of those tasty, seriously addictive and full of empty calories snacks"

It wasn't always this way for me. No sir, I used to have at least one "good eater" at each meal.

Then I had surgery and 5 days post surgery Edison broke his leg. We ended up with a long hospital stay at the Womens And Childrens Hospital. There are not many food options in the hospital at all. And almost all of them where either a boring as watching paint dry salad or a pastry of some sort. Or hot chips with or without gravy.

I am certain there where better options on other floors but I couldn't even be away from my in traction childs bed without telling the hospital staff and having to scurry around getting what I could. Being away for even a minute was awful. So I stuck with the cafeteria on our floor and whatever family members brought in. Kicky was staying with us as well and wouldn't touch the hospital food. He ended up living on rice crackers, Chocolate Tiny Teddies and Rafferty's Garden baby food pouches. And lots and lots of chocolate Yogo custard.

By the time we got out of the childrens hospital I was weeks behind in my studies, had a child in a cast that needed round the clock care and also Mr fussy (kicky) I was frantically trying to catch up, dealing with the care of edison and looking after Kicky too.. all day everyday. So the snacks continued because they were quick and he could just walk off with them. Edison was also eating almost nothing but snacks, the only real meal the frozen bolognaises and casseroles I froze before my surgery.

Now almost 6 months down the track I am STILL trying to reintroduce all the foods they used to eat and slowly the children are coming around to the idea. We also have since discovered Kicky is highly intolerant to dairy and wheat products.So he is also getting used to soy instead of dairy. (thank goodness he is still breastfeeding!) it has become very apparent that this habit is extremely hard to change. Note to parents who have yet to introduce junk food- it isn't worth it the kids are happy before it enters their lives and once you try to take it away they will hold onto it like a bull dog with a locked jaw on a chew toy.

But back to the excising of the treats- the boys aren't thrilled. Also in order to get children out of eating horrible for their bodies food morning noon and night- it would seem that you have to be prepared to let them go hungry. I feel like the "worst parent of the year award" should go to me when they're begging and screaming because they want what they want.

Right now I am offering nothing but healthy foods to them. They have eggs, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, soy cheese, sweet potatoes, tuna, bananas, apples, kiwi, mushrooms, beans and many other things offered and it is usually met with "I don't like that" and them walking off.

But I am "winning" they aren't fading away and now Edison is complying to my request that he try one bite of everything on his plate and then he can go. Kicky is less cooperative and more challenging because he will go to the fridge on his own. I fixed that problem by throwing out any and all unhealthy foods. So if he wants to help himself to fruit, veg, cold cut meats or soy cheese.. go right ahead buddy! Still it doesn't change the endless whinging because they remember the tasty treats and want to get those at our every morning fruit run. They beg, they plead and I still say "sorry sweet heart but that's not what we came here for. I know your disappointed I like those things too" of course I will and do sometimes get them a little something. But I'm aiming for it to be no more than once per week, so I don't ruin our progress.

So that's the major thing happening today. Any ideas for me? How do you help you children unlearn about junk food and encourage them to eat healthy?

Truly effective weight loss

Truly effective weight loss

I’m pretty sure we as people have all been there. Looking in the mirror and said “I could lose a bit of weight” some of us have a chronic weight issue, others just a little too much sweet toothing. What EVER! It doesn’t matter. We’ve all had days, weeks, months.. or even years like this.

I’ve never been terribly over weight but while I was busy getting certified for childrens services; I spent a solid 4-8 hours a day at a computer, usually with a hot chocolate and a biscuit every hour on the hour. Or pot noodles. Why? Because it was easy. Convenience was ruling my days. And I was still eating 3 large meals per day.

At the time I had a three year old in a hip Spica cast after he broke his leg and a one year old with digestive issues. Food was comfort, food was entertainment, food was grounding. I was eating my feelings. I knew it but I couldn’t stop, I wasn’t ready.

I got to 75kg. This is the heaviest I have ever been in my life including when I was pregnant.

I can already hear some people muttering 75kg isn’t that bad! I weigh 80, 90, 95 maybe 100kg or even 120kg.. maybe you’re even heavier? It doesn’t matter the goal is the same.

Fad diets don’t work. Neither do pills. Not that I’ve tried them. I don’t need to try them to know they won’t work. Why?? Because to maintain any weight range you have to live it. Every day. Pills and protein powders and fad diets don’t work because they are temporary fixes. No, If you want true, lasting and manageable weight loss then the change needs to be permanent.

Permanent weight loss involves a complete lifestyle overhaul. And it requires a person who wants it desperately.

I am not selling anything. This is not some infomercial where they feed you little bits and tease you only to tell you to buy their product. Like everything else I publish I am going to include everything, free of charge, because reader, I love you and I want to you to have what I worked hard to get without having to look for as long as I did. So without further ado.. what I did to lose weight. I’m half way there now. I’m still on the journey and we can do it together if you want to..

FIND YOUR VICES: vices are anything that interrupts daily life, makes you sedentary or is loaded with sugar that you have on a regular basis- regular means more than twice per week, if you enjoy milkshakes everyday- it’s a VICE.. ditto for sitting at the computer all day on social media. Find those vices and write em down. These are some of mine:

·         Hot chocolate

·         Face Book

·         bread

·         anything with cocoa in it ie: vegan knock off Oreos or chocolate milk.

·         Fried foods.

·         Pizza

·         Pastries and hot cinnamon doughnuts.

·         MacDonald’s fries.

·         Juice

·         “healthy junk food”

I love all these things. Passionately. They were my friends but they weren’t being very good to me .

Slowly so as not to shock yourself too much, ditch each one. And as you ditch each one replace the vice with a good habit. Become a “swapper” not a “stopper” when I felt lonely instead of getting on Face book I’d write in a journal quickly, call a friend and arrange a food free meet up.

To quit social media you will need to gain a social life. Not easy if you have a baby but you CAN and SHOULD look to socialize your child. A play-group once a week and a play date with another kid from said play group should help take care of this. And do something different each time ie the park one date and the beach or pool the next. Mix it up and you’ll find yourself exercising to boot as you keep up with your little one. Wash the car, go for a walk on a nature trail, play fetch with a dog! LIVE!

Set small achievable goals. Yes you want to get all the way down to a certain size but if you put 15kg as your goal you know what will happen?? You’ll start zealously for the first week, weigh yourself, see that you are still nowhere near your goal and likely shout “oh what’s the POINT! I am NEVER going to be smaller!” and throw in the towel. Rather set 5X 3kg losses and celebrate each little win with a fun activity that is completely food free. Notice what I said there? Food free? That’s because and listen very clearly I will only say it once:

FOOD IS NOT A REWARD!

Got that? If you go and get all self congratulatory and “reward” yourself with one of your vices or even a “healthy” food. It gives the same message. You are living to eat, food is love and you want to be adored. It will BACKFIRE stay off your vices until well after you’ve reached your final goal. And FYI well after your goals is about 6-12 months depending on how addictive your nature is. And when after you have reached your goal and maintained it for a good amount of time give yourself ONE “cheat day” per month once every 2 or 3 months is even better. Mark it on the calendar that on this cheat day you can have ONE of your vices. Just one mind you. And you’ll probably find you won’t even like it. It may even make you sick.

Which brings me to the importance of cheat days.

While you are on your weight loss journey you DON’T get cheat days. It ruins your efforts.

BUT when you’ve already achieved your goals having the odd cheat day is okay. I scheduled mine for once every 2 months and when that day comes around I already know what I’m having!

On a cheat day you can have one of the things you don’t normally have; just one, and it has to be food.  

The purpose of these cheat days is to make sure you don’t feel too deprived.

So what DO you eat? Pretty much the diet I’ve used can be summed up in three words: Protein, Fibre and carbohydrates. In that order. That means LOTS of protein, SOME fibre and LOW carbohydrates and all the carbs are low GI for slow release of energy.

JUST EAT REAL FOOD; was it ever alive? Did it come from something alive? Does it have 5 or less ingredients and you can understand the ingredient label? If it does have lots of ingredients just run each one through the rest of these questions. Most importantly could you theoretically make it at home yourself and would your great great great great grandma recognize it as food?

And here’s the sciency part,

Protein doesn’t break down into sugar. They leave you feeling full for a long time and their great for brain development and concentration. Protein won’t go on your backside anywhere near as fast as foods that break down into sugar.

Fibre from fruit and vegetables helps keep you full, makes you regular and while it does break down into sugar the fibre in it helps to clear the food from your body before it has totally broken down into sugar and contains essential vitamins and minerals that your body NEEDS your mother was right; eat your vegetables. ANY diet that says you can’t have fruit or vegetables is a fad diet and isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.

 

Carbohydrates do break down into sugar. Simple carbs release sugar in the greatest quantities and at the greatest speed. These sugars release INSULIN and insulin makes us suddenly get the meanest case of the munchies. And too much insulin can even lead to scary things like diabetes complications. Moderate your carbs.

When and how do I eat these foods?

BREAKFAST:

I like to have my breakfast fresh so I committed to WALKING the 3km to the local supermarket to buy the fruit for myself and the boys EACH AND EVERY DAY. Before we leave I have some protein such as an egg or a few mushrooms. Bacon is also a popular choice. It doesn’t matter if you’re an omnivore, a vegetarian or a vegan. I DON’T CARE what you eat. There is a protein option for you. Eat up. Then walk for about 5-6km. When you come home eat your fruit. 2-3 pieces. Try for 1-2 pieces that you know you like and 1 piece of fruit you’ve never tried before. Can’t know you love it til you try it!

LUNCH:

This is the best time to have the bulk of your simpler carbs. I find that if I have carbs too early or too late I want to snack on.. more carbs! Grains are probably the poorest choice for carbs but will do in a pinch. Aim for oats or quinoa as these won’t be so bad for sugar release. A better choice is a salad maybe with baked vegetables like pumpkin or sweet potato. Add lots of carrots, olives, pickles, onions, cucumber, tomatoes, spinach ect to your salad and top with a light dressing to jazz it up. Also add a bit of protein in the form of meat or mushrooms or tofu. The protein should make up about a quarter of your lunch.  

TEA/DINNER/SUPPER: Whatever you call it. The best way to finish up your meals for the day is yet again high protein low carbs moderate fibre. Meat or meat alternative + 3-5 different raw or lightly steamed vegetables with a nice dressing is bring but great for you. I personally shook things up so that every second day I had a nice risotto or casserole or home made burger etc. It equated to 4 nights of “meat and veg” and 3 nights with something a little edgier. It made meals bearable.

SNACKS: need something to tide you over til meal time? When I feel a little nibbly I cut up some carrots, cucumbers, capsicum or celery and dip them in light sour cream. OR I make a dairy free fruit smoothie by putting different fruits in the blender with some ice and add one banana per serve that I am making and push puree. The banana gives it a bit of a creamy texture. Better yet there’s nothing wrong with just eating the banana or fruit whole. Single serve chicken or Tuna tins are great for a protein hit if the next meal is hours away. Sometimes I eat corn thins with butter but I avoid doing this too often.  

And lastly:

Get moving!

As mentioned before I walk 5-6 km per day but it doesn’t stop there. Clean your house, go for a swim or ride a bike! Meet friends for an aerobics class..

Because permanent weight loss is a way of life. Not a diet.

Instead Of Yelling

Instead of yelling

 

·      “Stop touching that!” put item of interest away or if it’s something like an electrical socket redirect their attention. Saying “stop that’s not something we should play with its fragile/dangerous” quietly is ok but be realistic about how much cooperation you will get. Better yet have things the kids shouldn’t touch right out of sight in the first place. Also important- if you’re exhausted, the house is a mess and your “couch parenting” by way of sitting down and barking orders rather than properly interacting.. this is a sign of poor self care, take a break from the hectic pace of ordinary life and slow down- take the phone off the hook, clear your schedule; recoup and feed, wash and dress yourself, pull out a homemade meal you froze and leave it to defrost so that you don’t have to cook the evening meal and then if possible take a nap all together. The hope is you wake refreshed and better able to cope.

·      “Hey! I saw that! Don’t hit/bite!” remove children from each other and quietly say “Gentle” or “hitting/biting hurts, when we feel like doing that we have to go away and calm down. You can play by yourself until you feel better” keep them apart until they can play nicely together.

·      “HURRY UP! WE’RE going to be late!” get better organized. Record how long it takes on average to get each individual child dressed and ready to go and make sure you provide extra time for the slower movers and keep things going by turning off distractions so they get ready in time for your schedule. If you find yourself late anyway.. remind yourself they are only little once and it’s more important to enjoy your time with them than being on time and clenching your teeth because you’re fuming and want to curse. They will get better at readying themselves as they get older.

·      “GO TO BED!” if they’re awake in their room is it really going to matter? Can’t force a person to sleep.. As long as they’re in their room and not disturbing others let it slide. If they are coming out of their room- put them back saying “it’s bedtime so you have to be in your room” and if they keep coming out after this first time then return them without conversation or eye contact until the message sinks in. Alternatively if the getting up is constant or the child is lonely, afraid or crying consider having a family bed and letting them sleep with a parent until they feel ready to move into their own bed. sort of depends on their age and the reason behind their constant waking. Sometimes a child is needing their own space if they are constantly getting everyone up in the family bed. Do what you feel is best with your child but do it gently and lovingly. Night time is a scary place for many children.

·      OTHER RANDOM SITUATIONS YOU FIND YOURSELF YELLING ABOUT: STOP yourself before you say anything if possible. Do not move towards your children, resist the adrenaline rush to move like lightening and strike or scream at children unless they’re actually in danger in which case remove the danger and then leave until you are calm. Take deep breaths and wait until the rage has passed. Then and ONLY then go to your children to talk about it. Tell them how it made you feel and why, LISTEN to their side of the story without interruption and then hand down their “sentence” be it the natural consequences of their actions or giving them the job of correcting the situation or otherwise “making it right”(apologizing, giving the other child their own item if they willfully were destructive, washing the walls if they drew on them). 

These of course are just a few ideas, you can come up with more I'm sure.

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