Edison and Odie, A Progress Report

You may recall my post about listening to the well oiled door, Well it's been just over a week and I thought I'd write about how that is going;


After making sure I acknowledged every sighted positive interaction between Edison and our dog for a few days I took another step: I put Edison in charge of the dog.

He is now responsible for walking the dog, feeding, filling the water bowl and grooming. He also puts the dog to bed in the laundry before he goes to bed himself. If he forgets anything I remind him but I've only needed to do so a couple times. For a 3 year and 8 months old boy he's done incredibly well.

I've gotten to see a transformation in the pair. What love "looks like" between a boy and his dog. Each morning we go for our walk and Edison carefully puts the halter and leash on Odie, he never pulls him along but leads him. Gently.

The idea came to me when Edison, unprompted by me realized that Odie was thirsty and got a drink for him in a little bowl. And he went back and forth filling it until the dog stopped drinking the water. It was an epiphany at the time but now it's kinda obvious.

If a child is having issues with something- make them involved. If it's a new baby get them to fetch nappies or a burp cloth, let them hold the baby while sitting in a rocker or on the floor.. Perhaps like in our case it's a pet- feed the kitty or walk the dog.

Maybe the problem is getting dressed- what ever the problem ask them to help you. Make them the hero. Tell them about what you want to do for the day. Maybe you could even ask them what THEY would like to do if you don't have anything pressing.

Instead of trying to "get around them" while cleaning the house give them simple chores to do while you do the big stuff. They can fold tea towels and face washers while you do the shirts, pants and skirts. Perhaps a 3-5 year old can sort and fold the socks together. Let them dry the plastic dishes and the butter knives, forks and spoons. You could even give them a go at washing the safe dishes.

Get them to be your "little chef" and peel the carrots and potatoes, let them butter their own toast (and for an extra confidence boost ask them to butter yours too) pour their own drinks and let them serve you and their siblings.

Tell them what you DO want, not what you don't if at all possible. Saying "no" is important but it's equally important to give them an escape by letting them know what they can do to correct things.

What about going to Child Care? My kids aren't in child care but if this is a necessity in your family life there are certainly ways you can prepare them for a longer separation. Give them something of yours to wear/ look after, talk about what you'll do together afterward when you collect them (and then make sure you do it). Talk about their friends at Child Care and their teachers so they have something to look forward to. And when you leave say good bye, give them a cuddle and leave promptly. 

Basically this is the "Involvement Technique" from "SuperNanny" and let me tell you IT WORKS.

Of course sometimes they need reminding (and more than once I've had to say "Odie is NOT a pony if you sit on his back you'll hurt him please hop off him") but these times get fewer and further between, after all when your three years old you aren't going to remember all the time. Even adults don't get it right all the time. So we need to remind ourselves of that when we are seeing what can only look like regression. And then it's over and we move on.