A "DUH" moment

Eddie aged around 20 months with our pony Gwennie

As we grow up, I am sure that everyone has heard at least one person say something along the lines of "never do X, it's dangerous" I used to get a little annoyed with this as a kid and especially as a teen. Particularly with activities that interested me but I was benignly steered away from them by others because they didn't think it was a good idea or had no interest in it themselves.

I was at placement last week and I had a bit of a "no duh" moment. The conversation I was not part of. I was simply in the same room and so listening. The subject was horses. Actually the subject was along the lines of "hate horses, they're dangerous" I did not say anything. I just reflected on what the other ladies were saying.

I am a passionate horse rider. My parents took care of my interest in horse riding by securing me an education about them. They connected me with the right people so that I could SAFELY learn to ride. This had not happened for theses other ladies. Their hatred of horses stemmed from very similar experiences- getting on a friends horse as a teenager and having fallen off, gotten kicked or worse.

I was reflecting on this because a lot of them have a passion for motorbikes. Now I have had few interactions with motorbikes. All ending with my crashing and breaking a bone as a teenager. I have a firm hatred of them. But this was my "duh moment". Had I been connected with a knowledgeable person and taught slowly and properly how to ride the motorbike- I'd probably love it.

In the same vein had these people been connected to a riding school or even a patient and very experienced rider- they would likely have loved it too or at the very least not be terrified to let their own children have a go.

I digested these thoughts quietly. But I didn't log it away and forget about it. I wanted to some how go back and help them. Not possible I know and while I could offer to teach them to ride on my very safe riding horse- they may not want to and that is fine. Who knows I still may offer.

But more than that I started thinking about how I could start a dialogue among parents about how and when to start lessons in "extreme sports" with children. Having spent a few days thinking on this I have to say- the optimum time to enroll would be as soon as they develop a passion with talking about it. The younger the child the happier they are to take it slow and the more likely they are to listen and keep risk taking at acceptable levels. But that would also depend on the child. Parents can gauge readiness better than any arbitrary time line.

Starting them on a hobby might seem expensive but it could prove to be less expensive to enroll in riding lessons and give them a "hit" with a competent educator at the helm than to have them beg and beg (completely lacking any actual experience whatsoever with the subject being begged for) and then buy them a pony (high possibility of buying an inappropriate animal by the way) only to have you both completely inexperienced and getting them hurt. Or even just losing interest.

When should a parent get them their own? I'm not going to tell anyone what to do with their own kid but I would personally refrain from getting them "one of their own" particularly in the case of an animal until:

• they are competent enough to not require arms reach supervision.
• they have sustained an interest in the activity suitable to owning their own (desire to ride once a week isn't enough if it's horse riding as horses need care everyday)
• they have shown themselves to be confident under pressure and make good judgements
• they live, breathe and talk that activity all day everyday and it's all they can think about

Other than the above I'd personally stick to lessons. A passing phase may turn to passion later but til it does- the lessons are cheaper, less work and more convenient.

So what is the take away from all this for me- motorbikes aren't evil. Horses aren't evil. Go-Karts or fencing isn't evil.. they just REQUIRE appropriate instruction to avoid injury. So what will I be doing should my children develop an interest in something that I myself have no experience in (or no know how) I'll find someone who knows what is what about it and enroll them in lessons! Duh!