But then roughly six weeks ago this suddenly changes. Kicky was less affected. Edison on the other hand had a screaming fit at the very mention of bed, he fought us all the way through a bed time routine he previously loved and became very difficult to get to sleep. Kicky was kept awake by his grumping and night time suddenly became a battle of wits and will.
I have never wanted anything in my parent child relationships except partnership. While this doesn't mean that I wanted to never have disagreements on important things I also didn't want to have to fight every single night over something that in the end one can't force anyway. You can't force a person to sleep no matter how long you stay with them and or hold them down. I was miserable and so was Edison. Every night we both grew more and more tense as the evening progressed. And I was losing my temper quicker each day.
One evening recently as I lay with Edison trying to get him to go to sleep I was reminded of an article I saw on Facebook that day. Calling in MC for reinforcements I got up and fired up the computer to look again. The article was talking about how humans USED to sleep before electricity.
Many readers will have heard in movies and read in books the words "first watch, second watch, the bitter watch.. of the night." I always thought that this referred to keeping lookout. And it sort of does.. but only a couple people are needed to keep watch. What was everyone else doing? I expected sleeping and was correct but only partly so.
The article detailed that people would rest in the evening and do things that relaxed them, then they would go to sleep an hour or two after sunset.. sleep for 4 hours or so.. then this would be followed by a period of wakefulness and activity for a few hours.. followed by another sleep for a 4 hour or so stretch.. and then either they would rise for the next day and stay up or they might even go back to sleep after a few more hours if it was still dark! 2 sleeps+ rather than one great big solid block!
This is how babies automatically sleep by the way! and here we are trying to "train" them to sleep for 8-12 hours at a time! For the record Edison was never sleep trained, he just slept in a big stretch on his own with his wakings so nicely spaced that I would only rise once through the night to feed him.
 |
| Edison sleeping like a baby at 2 days old |
- went to bed at 7:00PM..
- slept til anywhere between 9:30-11:00ish when I still hadn't gone to bed as I actively waited for him to wake so I could feed him again before I went to sleep..
- then slept til 2:00-3:00AM (my one and only night feed where I had to wake up to feed him)
- and then he was up at 6:00AM for the day..
So what did people DO during these wakeful periods? Well.. they recorded dreams, smoked pipes, visited neighbors.. had a midnight feast.. made love.. fed and pottied babies and toddlers (hello night time wetting! no wonder children were "night trained" so much earlier since they never slept for more than 4 hours at a stretch!) whatever they wanted or needed really. But activities were quiet and for "feeding the soul" if you will.
So back to the title, the predicament and the "experiment" I have decided that for at least the month of December and culminating as a keep or not strategy on New Years Eve.. I am allowing both children to sleep as the ancients did. I have kept the "bedtime routine" preferring to help them into their pajamas and making sure they brush their teeth and we read a story.. the only exception is that I have dropped the going to bed part. I am no longer telling them when it is time to sleep.
Rather I recreate the atmosphere of yesteryear. I turn down the lights, the television is off. Children may read or play with toys, have a snack or talk with whom ever. I loll on our bed, I may read or play music and when they are ready they put themselves to bed. They will ask me if they need my help to go to sleep.
No longer do I consider myself an insomniac.. rather simply hard wired to sleep for shorter periods. I don't try to force myself to go to sleep at a certain time or wake at a certain time- even when I am going to work because when there's no TV on and the lights are dim and I just ease myself in I find myself having a sleep for a few hours..
I am no longer terrified of missing out on housework or watching an adult movie.. because I can do it or watch it after the first sleep when children are still slumbering.. and then I take care of them if they wake (only once so far!) and then I go back to bed for them to feed and cuddle back to sleep.
The Pro's have been an immediately happier pair of children, they seem more energetic than ever despite them going to bed much later and having a short wakeful period before a more concrete sleep.. ending at about 6:00AM.. We are much more relaxed. I will go to bed when I am ready too so it's all on personal autonomy.
The cons I was afraid of haven't really arisen. I was afraid I wouldn't get any "me time" but that was because I was still using the ideology of one long sleep.. in which case I would miss out. But when you know that you will wake ina few short hours and be able to do what ever then.. it's not nearly as hard to part with my 7:00-9:30 stint of "no kids" especially since it had been taking that long to get Edison to go to sleep!
If there was a definable con it would be that no one else we know does this so going out/visiting is a bit impossible but that is all I can ascertain for now. We will see how this all ends at the end of the month!
No comments:
Post a Comment