blanket training~ the first lesson in "obedience"

It was only around ten days ago that I learned about a "blanket training" a fellow mother about my age called it boundary training. Now I had heard of the term many years before but hadn't quite grasped the gravity of the situation until just these past few days. Something that bothered me enough to blog about it.

The objective is simple and sounds harmless enough- teach a baby to play on a blanket and not to leave that blanket. I was curious as to how this was going to benefit the child, it soon became apparent though that- it doesn't. This training is to the benefit of the parents only. In fact the way that blanket training was put to me it seemed so innocuous that it took me researching it as a potential way to help me deal with children while I study to realize the innocent sounding "play on a blanket" actually means to brainwash the child with fear that stepping, crawling, placing a hand over the blanket, a finger, complaining about the blanket, questioning why they have to stay on the blanket.. with the fear of being spanked.

One woman bragged that her child was so "blanket trained" that she had been calling the child for some time and the child was so used to the rules of staying on the blanket that she wouldn't come when called. This child knew she was being baited and that to step off the blanket would result in punishment. I. Was. Horrified. What if there is a dire need to get off that stupid rug and she refuses to come because she is afraid of a beating?

Mind you Blanket training usually happens in infancy right around the time the child is learning to roll over or crawl.  

Infants are being spanked for wanting to engage in their natural curiosity and explore and learn about their world. So much for development and gaining intelligence. Blanket training removes this ability to question their world with startling efficiency.

This is why they call it "the first obedience" But I have to challenge that statement. Is it really obedience if the only reason they will obey is out of fear of being hit?  The child isn't doing it because it is right, because they want to please their parent or even because it's expected. They do it because they are afraid. I call THAT domestic violence and bullying.

This kind of training is the basis for Quiverful  "teachings". It removes all sense of agency- something that educators strive relentlessly for their students how ever young they may be. All sense of personal choice, free will, desire to learn are stripped away using these methods and primes the individual for the next stages of conditioning.

Lessons that will teach them that if something happens to them that it is their fault. That they did the wrong thing. Lessons that make these individuals Prime. Targets. For. Abuse. Because they don't know how to advocate for themselves. Because they will keep quiet about a beating, a molestation, a sexual assault or rape, emotional abuse, depression, being forced to work in unsanitary or dangerous conditions, to be silent about lack of medical treatment.. the list goes on and on.

This is not to say I am against raising a child in a religion oriented environment. What I am against is brainwashing and the removal of free will.

Apart from mental and emotional scarring what else would forcing a child to stay on a blanket for lengthy periods of time cause?

One very serious result could be developmental delays.

• Speech- because no one is talking with the child 
• gross motor skills- because the child cannot practice their crawling or walking properly, 
• Sensory and hand eye co-ordination issues- because baiting a child into touching things and getting their hand slapped is an important part of teaching them "don't touch" and then eventually if the training has been done correctly they quit trying to explore anything with their hands 
• emotional development because blanket training is dripping with the emotional abuse of children being seen and not heard, gathering your child up to hold them and comfort them and play with them is expressly discouraged because they need to play "independently and quietly" 
• And lastly cognitive or logical development is very pointedly shut down. Because most people not raised in this environment wouldn't ever willingly follow the later teachings if they had not been taught from the very beginning that questioning and experimenting was a bad thing.

So how could anyone think this is a good idea?

Well it isn't for the child. It's solely for the parents. Proponents of blanket training are very upfront that the training is so that a parent can go to church, a meeting, do house work or go to a picnic etc and know without a shadow of a doubt that the child will sit quietly and not move away.

The same way an abusive partner can belittle and cajole their partner knowing that they will meekly and obediently accept that it's all their fault and to be accepted quietly.

Such a tool could be useful; I can see the appeal. I'm even sure that such training could be achieved by using a much gentler method- and if you did it with a gentler method and only used it in such conditions that warranted the child staying in place I am quite certain that none of the above would apply because it wouldn't be all the time and the child would still have the autonomy to come to or speak to the parent for a need to be met.

However there are other ways to prevent a child from going where you don't want them to. A pram, play pen, carrier or safety harness for example.

Better yet choose a venue that has decent fencing so that children can run around, burn off their energy and explore and learn about their world. Take a toy the child loves to a meeting and bring snacks and nurse them when they are hungry or thirsty, let them know their needs will be met if they ask and that you will be all too pleased to hear their small voices tell you stories and ask questions.

I think the truly heartbreaking thing about such methods is that they were ever considered necessary. I cannot help but ask "why?" Who came up with such an idea as to hit babies into subservience? What on earth were they thinking and what must have happened to them as babies for them to think this was the way to handle the most vulnerable in our communities?

Well it's May already..

Wow.. All I can say is wow.

For me this year is absolutely flying. I am busying myself with studies, home-pre-schooling my almost five year old (omg did I just write that!?!?!) and my three year old, I am teaching Agriculture and Permaculture as a high school subject for my youngest brothers "year 8" curriculum. And every now and then I've remembered to blog a little. But not anywhere near enough!

So this is a multi-subject post! Here goes nothing:

Studies.. Brain. empty. No ideas.. none!!.. unfortunately this is how I have been feeling with study lately, I was all these ideas swirling around in my mind but when I go to put them on paper they all run for cover and I can't think. It's like my train of thought has derailed and there were no survivors! I am managing to complete my assessments and pass them.. but it has been like pulling teeth these last months. I'm wondering if this is due to lack of sleep or too many other commitments. But I am reminding myself to be grateful that I am passing so far and to think outside the box when I have to arrange time to do my work. It's a slow project this time around.

Home-Pre-School..this has been interesting and thankfully I am constantly coming up with ideas and ways to intentionally teach without my children knowing that it's intentional. Most intentional teaching is coming from conversations with the children and open ended questions. The other ways are to offer up a choice of different activities and then adapt them to a subject or to simply follow my childrens leads when they play. I can turn most anything to a learning experience by thinking critically about it. I make myself recognize the learning and the potential follow up activities. And I never force it. If the boys don't want to do a activity I ave set up I simply leave the station set up in case they decide they want to play with it later and ask them what they would like to do. This method usually works the best. Just set up a variety of play activity stations within the play space and let them explore. I love watching them first enter a new play space. It's almost always the lounge room but I arrange it as such so that the surrounds appear different and there as new objects to explore and just enough challenge to keep their interest.

For assisting mathematics and literacy we play games. It can be as simple and counting as far as we can til we get one wrong and getting a little "prize" at the end. Or finding as many words or letters that we recognize. There's no "losers" in these games. It's just for fun- like a board game that helps you to remember the basics. And if they don't want to play- they don't have to.

Edison has found an affinity for the work books that are available in the supermarket. And while it was slightly grating to have an un-schooled child "doing work books" I have to remind myself that delight based learning isn't a method. it is exactly what it describes. These work books DELIGHT him. He WANTS to do the work in them. And so yep- thats unschooling. He is simply internally driven to learn what they contain and is happy to sit there for half, one two or three hours deciphering them. All. By. Himself. and when he has a question he only wants a little help. It's like "Mum how do you spell this? *I spell it* Thanks Mum, now GO AWAY"

Kicky is slightly more mama centered as one might expect. He loves to climb and play with his toys, he wants me to read to him and he loves learning his colors and painting and household chores.. But he wants me there to support him. Unless he is playing Snowy Bear. If he is playing Snowy Bear I have to stand all the way back and let him "do it self"

Agriculture/Permaculture: As I have blogged about a little before, I am VERY into Permaculture. I grow vegetables and fruits, what I do not grow I swap for with other growers or buy from the markets and I keep chickens and horses as well as a turtle, dog and two cats. So when Tommy told me that he would really like me to teach him what it is I do in this subject I took a little time to consider it and then discussed it with our parents.
They were happy for me to take this subject and so I am remembering back to my own year 8 Agriculture classes and the practicals we did there. As well as looking online and finding/thinking up new ideas we can do together.

Right now we have a major project of building a new chicken coop, and we also do a minor practical each lesson. This has proven to be a very intricate project. I have to make the learning visible with each lesson and Tommy brings an exercise book to take notes and show our parents at the end of each day.

It brings a sense of well being to do these lessons though they take effort. As we spend literally all day outside in nature. I actually feel less stressed at the end of these lessons than I do before them. And I think Tommy does too.

So there it is, an overview of what I have been up to. How the year is just flying by!